If your worried about infidelity the following is a guide to help you determine if a spouse or partner is possibly cheating on you. However, if many of these factors are present we don’t suggest you confront them immediately. This would only cause them to refrain from the activity for some time and you could make a false accusation. Take your time and if necessary, seek the help of a someone like us.
At the beginning of an affair, the cheating person is usually more attentive to their spouse or loved one. This is due to the guilt associated with the activity. After the affair has continued, the person will often find unnecessary “fault” with their spouse or loved one. Again this can be attributed to their guilty conscious. They tend to begin losing interest in activities at home. Ignoring family events, children, and even routine chores, can be a sign that something is going on. Often there is a general change in their attitude toward the entire family. Look for a sudden change in sexual activity, either more or less often, couple with requests for “unusual” acts. Grooming habits will change. Cheaters tend to become a little more “attractive.”
Pay attention to changes in their choice of clothing, cologne/perfume, physical fitness, etc. Clothing can often show signs of an affair. Check for stains, odors, or unknown cologne/perfume. Remember the old saying, “if you play you must pay!” This applies to affairs from a financial point. Keep a close eye on money, bank and credit card statements to see if they are spending more than usual or in places they are not normally involved with.
Keep track of the mileage on their vehicles and compare it with the distance to and from work. If a person should be driving a daily total of 25 miles and there are an unexplained 50 extra miles three days a week, it may be a direct indication of concern.
Here is a checklist to consider when you think they may be cheating. Again, it is not a fool-proof way of determining they are seeing someone else but these are common indicators:
- Working a lot of overtime without realising additional income and the overtime comes at a moment’s notice.
- Excessive use of the Internet. Hides the passwords from you and frequently erases the computer’s history.
- Additional mileage on the vehicle speedometer.
- Hanging out with new friends that you have never met or don’t know much about.
- Smells of perfume or alcohol.
- Hiding the phone/mobile bill or having it posted to another address.
- A change in sexual habits. Loss of sexual interest or change in sexual style. Showers often. Slips and calls you a new pet name.
- Does not wear a wedding ring. Weak excuses, such as “They’re dangerous around machinery”.
Domestic – At Home
- Sudden increase in time away from home
- Decreased sexual interest
- Subject is often distracted and day dreaming
- Subject is often unavailable at work
- Subject attends more work functions alone
- Mobile phone calls are not returned in timely fashion
- Subject leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the phone
- Subject uses computer alone and secretly
- Subject asks about your schedule more often than usual
- Mileage on car is high when only short distance errands are run
- Clothes contain makeup or lipstick smudges
- Subject gets his laundry done independently
- Credit card bills contain unusual gifts, travel, restaurant and “unspecified” charges. The bills are sent to a location you don’t have access to.
- Credit cards contain uncommon locations of petrol stations.
- Unexplained payments on bank statements
- Subject has more cash on hand without accountability
- Mobile and home phone bills contain calls with long duration
- Business phone records contain unusual calls
- Subject has unexplained receipts or personal effects in wallet
- Subject has suspicious phone voice-mail messages
- Subject has suspicious mobile phone numbers stored or dialed numbers
- Internet web browser history list (this is a record of web sites visited) contains unusual sites
- Frequent visits to Internet free e-mail accounts
- Uncommon e-mail messages
- Keep your mouth closed and your eyes and ears open.
- Keep a detailed journal of your spouse’s activities.
- See if there is a pattern to your spouse’s ‘extra’ times away.
- Record times and dates of phone calls that are hang-ups and/or wrong numbers.
- Check his or her pockets for receipts.
- If your spouse travels, call a couple of hours after their nightly phone call home.
- Smell your spouse’s clothing.
- Check the mileage on the car before and after trips.
- Become unpredictable.
- Show up at your spouse’s office for lunch without notice.
- Say you’re working late when you plan on being home early or on time.
- Read their email.
- Go through their wallet or purse.
- Hire a private detective from Global Investigations.
- If you let your spouse know you suspect them of cheating they are apt to make fewer mistakes than if you act dumb.
- Do not accuse your spouse of cheating until you have enough evidence to prove it and you’re ready to take action.
- If you are cheating on your spouse, do not assume that your spouse has to be cheating on you.
Check other warning signs posts: Choosing a Private Investigator > Kids and Internet > Employee Investigations > Dating Rules > The Truth on Surveillance Follows > The Nature of Surveillance > Are You Being Bugged