The Most Common Excuses Used for Cheating, From a Private Investigator

As private investigators specialising in matrimonial investigations, we know cheaters often resort to a variety of excuses to justify their infidelity. Understanding these excuses can be crucial for those who suspect their partner of cheating.

At Global Investigations, we use professional techniques such as covert surveillance, mobile phone forensics, and online investigations to uncover the truth about cheating spouses. While the specific excuses cheaters use vary, there are some common themes that surface regularly.

Why Do People Cheat?

Cheating in relationships can stem from various reasons. Some people cheat because of dissatisfaction in their current relationship, while others may do so out of curiosity or a desire for excitement. Regardless of the reason, the excuses cheaters use often reveal much about their motivations and the flaws in their justifications.

What Are the Most Common Excuses for Cheating?

The most common excuses for cheating include:

“I’m working late tonight.”

This is one of the most frequently used excuses cheaters rely on. The cheater might claim they have a heavy workload or an important project that requires extra hours at the office. While it’s true that work can sometimes demand more time, if this excuse becomes a regular occurrence, it may be a sign of infidelity.

“My boss is sending me on a business trip.”

Business trips offer a convenient excuse for cheaters to spend time away from home without raising suspicion. If your partner is suddenly travelling more often or to unusual destinations, it might be worth investigating further.

“Some colleagues have invited me out for drinks.”

Socialising with colleagues is normal. But when it becomes an excuse for frequent late nights, it could indicate that the cheater is using these outings as a cover for meeting someone else. Alternatively, as 28-33% of cheaters meet partners at work, they could be meeting a colleague for other reasons.

“I’m just running an errand.”

Running errands is a normal part of daily life, but it could be a sign of cheating when these errands start taking an unusually long time. A simple trip to the store or the bank shouldn’t take hours. If your partner frequently uses this excuse to be away from home for extended periods, it may be worth looking into.

“I need some alone time.”

Everyone needs personal space, but this excuse can be a red flag if used excessively. A cheater may claim they need alone time to pursue a hobby or relax, but they could be using this time to meet with someone else. Interestingly, a survey by IllicitEnsounters found that one-third of participants met their ‘cheating partner’ at the gym. So, sudden new hobbies might need clarification.

What Are the Worst Excuses Used for Cheating?

The worst excuses used for cheating are: 

“It just happened.”

This excuse implies that the cheater had no control over their actions, which is rarely the case. Cheating involves a series of conscious decisions, and this excuse is an attempt to downplay their responsibility.

“You weren’t giving me enough attention.”

Blaming the partner for their own cheating is a common tactic used to deflect guilt. While relationship issues should be addressed, cheating is not a justified response to feeling neglected.

“It was just a one-time thing.”

This excuse is meant to minimise the seriousness of the infidelity. Even if it was a single occurrence, it can still deeply hurt the betrayed partner and damage the relationship.

“I was drunk.”

Alcohol can impair judgement, but it does not absolve someone of their actions. Using drunkenness as an excuse for cheating is a way to avoid taking responsibility.

“I didn’t think you’d find out.”

This excuse shows a blatant disregard for the partner’s feelings and a willingness to engage in deceptive behaviour as long as it remains undiscovered.

How Can You Identify Cheating Excuses?

Recognising the excuses people use for cheating is a step towards uncovering the truth. Here are some tips for identifying these excuses:


  • Monitor changes in behaviour – Pay attention to any sudden or unusual changes in your partner’s routine or habits. Increased secrecy, unexplained absences, or new interests can all be indicators of cheating.
  • Keep track of inconsistencies – Cheaters often have to keep track of their lies, and inconsistencies in their stories can be a giveaway. If your partner’s explanations don’t add up, it might be time to investigate further.
  • Look for signs of guilt – Cheaters may exhibit signs of guilt, such as becoming overly defensive, avoiding eye contact, or showering you with unexpected gifts or affection to distract from their actions.

What Should You Do If You Suspect Your Partner Is Cheating?

If you suspect your partner is cheating, it’s important to approach the situation carefully. Here are some steps you can take:

  1. Communicate your concerns

Talk to your partner about your suspicions in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Remember, their behaviour could be sincere or even indicative of something else entirely. Pay attention to their reactions during your conversation. This can provide valuable insight into whether your concerns are valid.

  1. Gather evidence

Before making any accusations, try to gather as much evidence as possible. This can include keeping a record of suspicious behaviour, saving text messages or emails, and noting any inconsistencies in their stories.

  1. Seek professional help

If you can’t get the answers you need on your own, consider hiring a private investigator. A private detective agency like Global Investigations offers various services to help you uncover the truth, from surveillance and background checks to tracing and intelligence gathering.

Taking Action Against Infidelity

Cheating can devastate relationships, and the excuses used for cheating often reveal much about the cheater’s mindset. By understanding these common excuses and knowing how to spot the signs of infidelity, you can take steps to protect yourself and your relationship. 


If you suspect your partner is cheating, don’t hesitate to contact Global Investigations. Whether you need surveillance, background checks, or other services, we’re committed to providing comprehensive and discreet investigative services.


For more information on our services or to speak with a private investigator, contact Global Investigations today. We’re dedicated to helping you find the truth and achieve peace of mind.

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