How to Tell if Your Partner is Cheating This Valentine’s Day

11 Jan 2018

Whilst many of us eagerly anticipate the romantic meal, luxurious gifts, and oodles of affection that awaits on Valentine’s day, some of you won’t realise your cheating partner will be splitting this intimate occasion with someone else.

Infidelity in relationships is one of the few moral issues that we all generally agree with, yet despite social disapproval, it is very common.

Cheating generally leaves a devastating impact on relationships, and is by far one of the hardest hurdles for couples to overcome and rebuild loyalty and trust.

If you suspect that your spouse is cheating, it is likely that your partner is behaving uncharacteristically, and has left you feeling distraught, angry or confused.

Dealing with this uncertainty can be just as traumatic as an affair with tangible proof, and often provokes adverse outcomes, such as anxiety, depression, domestic violence, divorce, and in worst cases, homicide.

To protect your psychological and emotional well-being, and potentially your relationship, it is important to seek freedom from doubt, and attempt to resolve the issue sooner rather than later to prevent the situation from becoming worse.

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Reasons for Cheating

Although there are mixed perceptions on cheating in relationships, and it comes in various emotional and physical forms, it all amounts to behaving dishonestly, and in ways that should only be displayed in someone’s committed relationship.

There are numerous motivations for cheating; most commonly, resentment, sexual satisfaction, insecurity, commitment issues, and simply just having the opportunity.

Statistics have shown that many unfaithful spouses report that their extramarital affairs satisfied emotional and sexual needs that were lacking in their relationship.

However, men’s infidelity is more likely to be sexually motivated, whereas women are likely to be unfaithful if they are emotionally unhappy in their relationship.

Man and Woman Embracing

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The warning signs of a cheating partner are either obvious or subtle, and depends on their ability to conceal their deceit, and your capacity in understanding human behaviour.

Typically, unfaithful partners subconsciously display signs of cheating, as they start to form changed habits that may or may not go unnoticed.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, and one of the biggest times in the year for cheaters, it is much harder to hide an affair, and this could be your biggest opportunity to find out if your partner is cheating.

If your partner’s behaviour is suspicious, here are the most common signs of infidelity that will show you how to tell if your partner is cheating.

8 Common Signs of Cheating

A New or Increased Obsession with Physical Appearance

Relationship experts have revealed that cheating triggers a deeper concern in one’s physical appearance.

When we develop new relationships, we often care about our companion’s judgments and assumptions based on our looks, and we make an effort to build attraction and entice more interest.

If your partner has adopted a newfound grooming routine, especially on occasions that do not involve you, they may be preparing for courtship or attempting to impress someone else.

Signs may involve starting to dress attractively, overspend on new attire, wear makeup, apply heavy use of cologne, become obsessed with the gym and weight loss/gain, or take frequent showers.

An unusual habit of showering, particularly upon instant arrival home, is a common routine used by cheaters to wash off the residue of sex and bodily scents.

Woman Staring in Handheld Mirror

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Secretive with Technology & Social Media Accounts

An unfaithful spouse usually becomes more secretive and protective over their social media accounts and technological devices, as it is generally the only way to stay in touch with their lover when they are not together.

If you’ve noticed a frequent change in password access, unnamed numbers with threads of messages, or your partner panics when you’re near their phone, it could be because they are hiding something they don’t want you to see, such as inappropriate communication or the person they are engaging with.

Also, if your partner has suddenly become inseparable from their phone, on the internet more than usual, or taking mysterious calls out the room, someone is likely to be capturing their attention, and can suggest cheating.

There have been many occasions where cheating partners have possessed a secret phone, specifically to contact their lover, so, if you’ve seen a mysterious technological device you have never come across previously, this is another huge indicator of cheating.

Man sitting down with smartphone

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Overly Complimentary and Loving

An influx of affection, compliments, or gifts is another way cheaters hide their deceit.

Whilst this may be signs of a healthy relationship, and is something you would likely appreciate from your partner, the sudden change in behaviour (especially if it was not requested) is likely to be a coping mechanism for feeling guilty about their behaviour, or simply because their affair is making them more happier in their life, triggering positive thoughts and actions.

Usually, when people receive affection from their partner, they are less likely to believe their spouse is cheating, and is why cheaters use this manipulative tactic to defer their partner’s attention and thoughts.

Stereotypically, unfaithful husbands are believed to be more inclined to do this, as women are attracted to generous men and tend to have a desire for luxurious gifts.

Man holding gift box

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Frequently Condemning Cheating

If your partner frequently mentions their disapproval in cheating, it could be a defense mechanism against their own behaviour, especially if there is no genuine reason that elicited this topic of conversation.

People who behave inappropriately sometimes become outspoken about their condemnation of the action, and in psychology, this is referred to as ‘reaction formation’.

It’s when a person constantly ponders on an idea that conflicts with their genuine feelings about the issue.

They do this to convince themselves and others that they are nothing like what they actually are, and is often a coping tactic to deal with their own inner-conflict, and a way to disguise a part of their personality.

So, if your partner constantly talks about cheating, it’s because they could be a cheater themselves.

Making False Accusations

False accusations generally reflect one’s behaviour, and sometimes, cheating partners will accuse you of things that they are guilty of themselves.

If your partner constantly accuses you of cheating, and you genuinely have not been unfaithful nor given them any ammunition to believe so, it is possible that they are cheating on you.

It is a manipulative way to deflect the attention from (especially if they are close to being caught-out) themselves whilst you are occupied by proving your innocence, drawing you further away from the real issue.

Also, the fact that they are capable of such behaviour is a trigger for their paranoia and insecurity.

As they are capable of such behaviour, they think that others are probably behaving in the same way, so they project their behaviour on to you to make you feel as if you are doing something wrong in the relationship.

Frustrated woman yelling with her head in her hands

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Change in Sexual Patterns

Whether your partner doesn’t engage in sexual intercourse as often as usual, has a surprisingly increased sex drive, or has randomly starting indulging in sexual activities you haven’t done before, this could be a cause for concern.

Although there are various reasons for change in sex frequency such as depression, busy schedule, stress, etc. cheating has a major impact on couples sex lives.

If your partner has suddenly become less interested in sex with you it could be that someone else is fulfilling their sexual needs, therefore they are not as sexually forthcoming as before.

Otherwise, they could be beginning to feel emotionally disconnected from you, and there isn’t a real need to desire sex from you, which could suggest somebody else is on the scene.

It has been scientifically proven that women have an emotional attachment when it comes to sexual relationships, so if they are less interested in sex they may be emotionally removed from their partner.

However, research has shown that men who are in happy relationships still have a proclivity to cheat, and may find their sexual excursions with another more appealing, hence being less interested in sex.

Man in bed looking at person with condom in hand

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Behaving Argumentative and Defensive

Nitpicking, provoking arguments and behaving over-defensive are signs of a cheating partner.

It can sometimes be a motivation towards a fight to conceal huge discretions or find a way to exit the relationship, possibly to be with someone else.

It is used in an attempt to disengage the person from them, so they can obtain the freedom they desire.

With cheating men, it is known that picking fights are often used as an excuse to leave their partner and spend time with their lover, and can happen on significant days like Valentine’s day.

Whilst their partner is distracted by the argument it can lessen the chance of figuring out the real issue behind their cheating partner’s actions.

Furthermore, when people are under a large amount of stress and pressure, they tend to be more irritable and argumentative.

The emotional and practical risks of cheating and the anxiety of being exposed can be quite draining on one’s mentality, and being stressed out is a common side effect.

Change in Regular Work Habits

According to studies, work affairs are extremely common and is how most affairs begin.

If you’ve noticed that your partner is starting work earlier or coming home late from work this might be a red flag.

As we spend more time at work than we do at home, it can be easy to become attached to someone we see on a regular basis that is fulfilling our emotional needs that are not being met by our spouse when they are not in our company.

If your partner has increased responsibility at work all of a sudden and is always using work as an excuse for having insufficient time or coming home late, there could be someone at work that is enticing them to spend more time there.

Another signal for cheating is if they become obsessed with a new work colleague, they may be mentioning their name to dispel any suspicion that an affair is taking place.

So, if you’ve heard a new name popping up a bit too much of recent it might not be something you want to turn a blind eye to.

Man and woman in suit walking

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How to Find Out if Your Partner is Cheating

Infidelity can have a detrimental affect on your relationship — but so can accusations with no proof.

Although the above signs are strong indicators of cheating, it does not mean that your partner is cheating on you; there could be other explanations for their behaviour.

The foundation of every romantic relationship is based on trust in your partner, and jeopardising that bond can cause complications and emotional distress.

So, if you truly believe your partner is cheating, to avoid putting your relationship in further turmoil you need tangible proof.

Whether it be an unfaithful husband, wife, or partner, Global Investigations is here to help you find out the answers to all your questions and put your suspicions to bed.

Contact us now so we can find out if your partner is having an affair as soon as possible.

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